( These are some of the emails I wrote to friends who I had not spoken to after the sudden passing of my husband, Ramesh Venkataraman, in January 2009. He was 41. I was not ready for the complex process of grieving, even though I was prepared for death and separation.) Delhi, 04 May 2009 Dear all Its 3 months now. It is empty, and awfully quiet. People say, he is resting finally, feeling no pain, no anxiety…he is ok. I rarely feel that. I think he’s still keen on watching the films that he was planning to…Slumdog, The Reader and Milk. I think he does want another trip to his favourite kebab shop down the road. And he does want another long drive in his car which he thinks is actually a ‘tank’, the stereo playing his fav songs full volume, his fingers drumming away on the steering wheel, his head moving to beats, as he tries hard to sing along and keep to tune, specially on the higher notes. He still has much to do, much to enjoy, much to angst about, much ...